Thirteen Reasons That You May be Losing Your Sex Drive

Posted by Dr. Michael White, Updated on November 16th, 2021
Reading Time: 8 minutes

Sex is one of the things that help maintain a healthy relationship, but there are a lot of factors that get in the way of a healthy sex drive and can get in the way of your most intimate connection with your partner.

Here are thirteen factors that can inhibit your libido and damage your sex life.

Romantic Troubles Inhibit Sex Drive

This may seem like a no-brainer, but if you are having relationship issues with your lover, this rift can lead to severe problems with your libido. Maintaining an intimate connection with your partner is a big part of lighting the spark of passion.

If your interest in sex has waned recently, take stock of your relationship with your partner, and make sure that your sexual lack of interest isn't resulting from issues that you are having with your partner.

There are a lot of ways to restore passion in a cooling relationship, however. Make an effort to talk to your partner about the issues that you are having, and make an effort to be more open and honest.

If you feel that the problems that are affecting your relationship may be more complicated than you or your partner can handle, consider meeting with a relationship counselor.

Stress Kills Libido

Stress can inhibit your sex drive and make it hard for you to be interested in sex. Before turning to Erectile Dysfunction drugs, try taking steps to alleviate stress in your life.

Stress can inhibit your libido, and it can even lead to symptoms of Erectile Dysfunction in spite of an otherwise healthy body.

You can also talk to a psychologist or other medical professional about taking medication for your stress if you feel like you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder.

There are also a lot of healthy lifestyle options, like exercise, yoga, and meditation. Do what you need to do to get your stress and anxiety under control, and there's a real chance that your libido will return with it.

Too Much Alcohol Can Kill Your Sex Drive

Alcohol does indeed reduce inhibition, making you more interested in sex and romance, but if you drink too much, it can prevent you from getting aroused for sexual activity.

Alcohol causes Serotonin Levels to drop in the brain, which causes you to lose inhibition and also be more interested in sex at a core level.

On the other hand, Alcohol is also a depressant, which means that it suppresses the activity of a variety of systems of the body, including those associated with sex in both the brain and elsewhere.

If you are a drinker and you find yourself having sex-drive issues, consider cutting back on the beer, or even quitting for a while to see if your sex drive returns. If you can't stop drinking, then consider talking to a specialist or finding a support group to limit or overcome your habit.

Lack of Sleep Dims Libido

Healthy sleep is associated with health in a myriad of ways, many of which are connected to your sexuality. Poor sleeping habits discourage the production of Testosterone, a hormone that promotes sexual interest and activity in both men and women.

If you sleep odd hours or don't get enough sleep at night, your sexual issues may spawn primarily from your sleeping habits.

If you have problems getting enough sleep at night, schedule your time to maximize your sleeping hours. If you have trouble staying asleep or find that you can't get enough sleep no matter how long you stay in bed, you may be suffering from sleep apnea.

If your partner catches you snoring frequently, or if you wake up with a start, gasping for breath, this is a sign that you have sleep apnea and would benefit from treatment.

Having Kids Can Put a Damper on Sex Drive

Even though most parents find their kids a joy, no matter how much trouble they are, children can positively affect your ability to engage in regular, happy sexual activity.

If you have difficulty making solo-time with your partner, consider hiring a babysitter or taking a day off work together while your kids are at school. You have a lot of options available to you.

Naptime is also an excellent way to get the most out of the little bit of alone time you have when you have an infant.

Certain Medications Can Deflate Libido

There are a lot of medications out there that can negatively impact your sex drive, as well as your sexual function.

If you find that these treatments are affecting your libido, your physician can often change the dose or switch you to a different medication that does not inhibit your sex drive in the same way.

In some cases, changes in desire may be a precursor to other side-effects which could impact your health. The following are some drugs that are known to reduce libido in some patients:

  • Finasteride
  • Antiretroviral Drugs
  • Chemotherapy
  • Birth Control
  • Blood Pressure Drugs
  • Antidepressants

Body Image and Sex Drive

Part of the sex drive is all in your head. If you have issues with physical self-perception, this can make it challenging to get yourself primed and ready for sexual activity. No matter how much your partner loves and adores your body if you don't appreciate yourself, this is going to impact your ability to be sexually ready.

There are a lot of good ways to promote improved body image. You can take stock of the positive things about your body. You can foster self-respect for yourself and learn to appreciate what those around you already find beautiful.

If you feel that it would help, start exercising and eating better and improve your body composition as well as your health. If the issue is with your partner, don't pressure him or her about their looks, just take the time to appreciate and acknowledge how attractive you find them.

Obesity Kills Libido

Obesity is a problem not only because it impacts your self-perception and your physical endurance, and it reduces your desire for sex at a chemical level as well. Many people find that they are less interested in sex because they don't love their bodies.

Obesity also negatively impacts the healthy Testosterone Levels that are associated with a healthy sex drive. Fat tissue can convert Testosterone into Estrogen, and the more overweight you are, the faster that your body will undergo this process, which depletes Testosterone Production.

If your weight is starting to reduce your sexual function or drive, take steps to improve your health and lose weight. Consider talking to a doctor or nutrition specialist to help you lose weight.

Erectile Dysfunction Inhibits Libido

As you can imagine, if you can't get yourself aroused physically, your libido is either going to take a severe hit, or you'll find yourself unable to satisfy your desire, which can also deaden it over time.

Erectile Dysfunction can also lead to other issues which hamper sex drive. If you aren't sure you'll be able to perform, it will limit your desire to engage in sexual activity.

If you have Erectile Dysfunction, this is a significant sign of other medical conditions such as Testosterone Deficiency or cardiovascular health issues which need to be treated to both restore your health and your sex drive.

Testosterone Deficiency is One of the Main Causes of Low Libido

Testosterone is the master hormone when it comes to sex. Most people understand this about men, but not so many realize that Testosterone controls female function and desire as well.

When men age, their Testosterone Production starts to fall naturally around the age of thirty. It takes a long time for this decline to become symptomatic, but when it does, it can have a significant impact on sexual function.

For women, Low-T often starts to become an issue around Menopause, or later in life. Testosterone production does not cease at Menopause, but it does lead to a significant drop in the creation of the hormone. Both men and women can benefit from Low-T Therapy for Testosterone Deficiency.

Depression Inhibits Libido

If you are having issues with your self-worth, this can be a massive hit to your sex drive. If you feel that you just can't compare to others, or if you are just overwhelmed by negative emotions, this can prevent you from achieving healthy relationships with the opposite sex, and can also just put you in a position where you lose your desire for romantic connection.

If you feel that you suffer from depression, you should talk to a medical professional about treatment options.

There is no reason why you should live with depression when there are lots of good treatment options available. Of course, some depression treatments may inhibit libido, so you might have to mix and match to find the treatment that works best to meet you're psychological as well as your sexual needs.

Menopause and Sex Drive

As mentioned earlier, Menopause is associated with a decline in Testosterone Levels, which contributes to an inhibited sex drive. Other factors related to Menopause also reduce libido as well, however.

Not all women experience these issues during Menopause, but many begin to experience issues such as a lack of lubrication or even pain or discomfort associated with sexual activity. This is because women's bodies prepare for sexual arousal just like men's, and menopause can inhibit that normal process.

A lot of the issues related to libido and menopause are psychosomatic. Just taking care of yourself and maintaining your self-worth through this period can often be enough to keep your sex life happy and healthy.

Lack of Intimacy Can Discourage Libido

Many people enjoy the excitement of a fling but find that the intensity of such desire fades quickly after a short period. Sex drive isn't all about physical attraction; it's mostly about having a connection with your partner that transcends the act of sex.

If you or your partner have lost the spark of sexual intimacy, take the time to get comfortable with your partner in other ways.

Go out together, take a vacation. Just spend more time talking and keeping yourself open to your partner's needs. Take time to engage in non-sexual, intimate physical activity. By reinvigorating your relationship, you can bring the spark back to your relationship.

Sex without feeling close can slay desire. Intimacy is about more than just sex. If your sex life is idling, try spending more non-sexual time together, only the two of you. Talk, snuggle, trade massages. Find ways to express love without having sex. Getting closer can rebuild your sex drive.


Diagnosis and Treatment of Testosterone Deficiency: Updated Recommendations From the Lisbon 2018 International Consultation for Sexual Medicine.

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