It's an unfortunate part of marriage, boyfriend-and-girlfriend or intimate relationships in general, but in a great majority of cases, one partner has a stronger sex drive than the other. Therefore different libido levels can create problems in relationships.
As men age, their sex drives typically decline (there are exceptions of course), due primarily to testosterone decline, but another major factor includes lifestyle. Sometimes women, mainly wives, and girlfriends experience a boost in their libido as they age. This can be a big problem if one partner's sex drive is declining and the other is increasing.
Different Libidos in Relationships
This is one of the major issues that can occur in such unions. Of course, the reverse can happen: women can lose interest in sexual intimacy, while their husbands and boyfriends can experience a boost in their sex drive.
When this kind of problem occurs, it's time to speak with a doctor and get your blood drawn for hormone testing. Our HRT clinic would like to speak with you about hormone replacement therapy! Consider filling out the contact form, so we can discuss your options. HRT isn't always the necessary solution, sometimes there can be other issues going on, but it's good to start with a medical evaluation and blood test to see if any deficiencies are present.
A concerned woman asks the following questions about her significant other: My hubby (husband) has a low libido, erectile dysfunction, and a diminished sex drive. He has little or no desire for any physical affectionate contact with me. I'm the opposite. In contrast, I have a high libido, I'm horny all the time, and affectionate touch is necessary, even vital to me. It's having a deleterious effect on me, not having such intimate contact with my loved one.
I need sex and I need affection, as most women in relationships do. I have tried pretending this isn't a problem and I have tried to ignore this problem. But then I feel these overwhelming emotions of abandon: pain, anger, despair, moodiness, hurt, depression, listlessness, diminished motivation, and self-defeating thoughts. I know I'm not alone in all this. Would killing my own libido with drugs solve this problem? He refuses to talk about the subject, or go to counseling with me, so I feel like I'm at a dead end. Women with normal healthy libidos need sex. Sex is not just a man thing.
Hormone Research Specialist Answer: If your hubby (husband) knew that this was destroying your relationship and could lead to a divorce, he might reconsider things. Libido, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and other sex-related problems are often difficult for men to talk about for a number of personal reasons. Some men feel like they lose their masculinity if they admit they have a problem. Other men are afraid to talk about the subject out of egocentric self-worth. The truth is millions of men around the world develop sex-related difficulties every year.
Sex is the Cornerstone of Committed Intimate Relationships
Intimacy is the cornerstone of most healthy relationships. Communication is the first step, so don't give up. You should both consider having your blood tested for hormone deficiency. That might be the culprit, but of course, there could be many other factors. You should start exploring and researching your options to mitigate this problem.
Low Testosterone Deficiency Blood Analysis
Millions of men experience Low-T (low testosterone) and often TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) can mitigate these issues if the treatment is the right fit. But low-T might not be the only issue, because libido and erectile function are complicated urological matters, so speaking with a specialist physician is the right step forward, and we would like to talk to you, have a conversation, and an exploratory discussion.
There are drugs which can dampen sexual desire and many of these include antidepressant meds. There are many medications which can diminish a man's sex drive. If your hubby is working too much, not getting enough exercise and sleep, that could also be an issue.
Obesity Can Destroy the Sex Drive
Weight gain and obesity are also factors in a man's sex drive dropping. Sometimes a little bit of T-therapy, that is, testosterone therapy, can go a long way, but TRT is not enough -- behaviors and lifestyle must also change. Processed foods and a poor diet can contribute to a man's lack of desire, and so can alcohol, drugs, certain medications and cigarettes.
Check out this new book by the psychologist Harriet Lerner. The title is Marriage Rules, and it offers numerous tips on improving relationships and communication.
Communication is the Hallmark of a Strong Relationship
The first step is communication. That has to be the first barrier you break through, but if you are struggling there, see if you can get him to get his blood tested. We offer blood testing panels which check more than Testosterone, but also human growth hormone levels. He might be deficient there as well. Take a look at the comprehensive male and female blood panels we offer through LabCorp and Quest Diagnostics. We list a plethora of tests on our website here.
If you and your hubby are looking to lose weight and build muscle, we offer the HCG injections diet. But usually optimizing HGH and testosterone has the best effect, when the deficiency is present. Contact us for a free no-obligation dialogue. Also, check out our state maps so you can see where we will send you to LabCorp or Quest Diagnostics for an easy blood draw.
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